Sunday, August 17, 2008

Is this satire? Well? Is it? IS IT?

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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Stupid person in stupidity incident

I've recently been enjoying listening to Lily Allen. I was a bit dismissive at first, but I am now patronising Lily with my much derided "Proper Pop" award, which I'm sure will be a weight off her mind. That said, I'm actually posting to pour mockery and scorn on someone less talented than myself, which I always find more gratifying than applauding the abilities of those who happen to have some.

Or one ability, which is one more than Joey Smith appears to possess (although there are rumours). Mr Smith is a loveable comedy racist who records on the Great White Records imprint, pet label of the FASCIST FUCKING SCUM party, aka the BNP. He has been offended, it seems, by this:

Which is good, I'm glad the stupid little twunt is offended. I'm also, somehow, glad that he has seen fit to record a response to Lily Allen's song. I'm afraid that, in order to enjoy the schadenfreude one can only derive from the humiliation of one's enemies, you're going to have listen to it. I fucking did, you cunts.

Epic fail. Also, have you not noticed that you are Mickey from the League of Gentlemen? "No political power?" As a fictional character, you're not even eligible to fucking vote, you frond.

But the point is the apparent strangeness of the BNP's response to a quote in the NME. The Lily Allen snippet is obviously not directed at the BNP. The clip was originally released, as far as I can tell, under the name GWB, which then became "Guess Who Batman". Its title and content suggest that it's about George Walker Bush. It has very little to do with the BNP, whatever its "original" might have been like. Allen's NME quote seems to be a fairly obvious tactic to stop her label from worrying too much about the song and holding up her already much delayed (but sure to be kick-ass, kids!) album. "It's not directed at anyone" means, "I've got a distribution deal with Walmart".

So how do the BNP respond to this one-line arse-covering statement? Well, they get their boys at Great White Records to put together something that they think will appeal to "the kids". It's shit, it sounds like something put together put together by a bunch of 18 year olds statemented for MLD after two years teaching by Jim Davidson and Phil Collins. They have this goon, Joey Smith, who they think looks like a pop-star, but who actually looks like a slow, and somewhat bitter, reject from the local gay scene. They also release a YouTube video interview with him about his new album, referring to Lily Allen in it. So why? Were they crying salt tears because a woman who looks like she was made as a puppet for a margarine ad says she doesn't like them?

The BNP were looking for spin. They were looking to feed off whatever press Lily Allen was getting, in order to promote two ideas. The first is that there is a raging online debate about the nature of Britain today. In reality, the most significant contribution that BNP supporters can be bothered to make is spunking out a few watery lines of hate over the comments page of whatever mainstream news-source they're reading at the time. The second is the myth of the liberal media, liberal arts, nasty dirty liberal conspiracy. It's the old "All those people who seem to be cleverer/funnier/better informed than me only seem like that because of a bias that no-one wants to talk about". The BNP want to present themselves as being the perpetual underdogs, the only ones who will speak out for the people against the conspiracy masterminded by the 'Liberal Elite', who back Lily Allen to the hilt in every whim she has.

Joey Smith is an idea that the BNP are trying out. They're chancers, and they're looking for ways to push into people's consciousness, no matter how stupid those ideas seem to most of us. I'm sure that, if another similar publicity stunt fails, Joey Smith will soon find himself just one more discarded dicksock on the BNP's bedroom floor. The poor fucking cunt really IS Mickey from the League of Gentlemen, I wasn't joking about that bit.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

What is the Smell of a Vampire Slayer?

I have two exhibits for your perusal. One is a light hearted comedic romp, the other is one of the most sinister and disturbing pieces of popular television ever produced. Yet, somehow, I see a lineage. Are they related? The public should be informed.

The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer - "Masterchef"

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - "Hush"